"The problem's not you.. it's me. It's just that we can't be together anymore."
It's never easy to just forget something that you have been used to. It's like your favorite doll being taken away from you when you're still a little girl. At first, you can't cope up. You'll miss its presence and long for it once in a while. Why? Because of one simple reason: you've had it for a very long time that it has already become a part of your life. But hey, do you think you'll just stay on that "i miss my doll" situation until the end of your life? If you think you will, then think again.
Letting go has really become one of the hardest choices a person makes. We can't just simply let go of what we have in just a snap. It hurts a lot, actually. But still, you can't even hold on to something that needs to go. It's the reality of life. Change is the only permanent thing in this world as they say.
Same goes in relationships. There will come a time when suddenly, everything changes. You'd be asking yourself, "what's the matter with him?" or "what's going on?". You are absolutely clueless. Yea right, you two are still together. But you feel that there's something weird going on. You'd ask him about the problem, and as usual, he'll just say "nothing". Then you think about it and realize that there's no problem at all. So you'll ignore it. And you're back to normal routines.
Days will pass. And without you knowing it, so is your partner. Just when you thought everything is alright, he'll come up to you and say, "The problem's not you.. it's me. It's just that we can't be together anymore." You'd be in shock, and start to wonder what went wrong. Random thoughts will run through your mind. Amidst all these, one word stands out : "WHY?". You talk to him and ask about it, but nothing clears it up. Instead, his explanations left deeper questions.
So what happens next? Left into oblivion, you'd tell him that you'll try to work things out -- you'll plea. But even if you do that, it won't change the situation and the truth that your relationship with him is over -- that he has left you for good.
You can do nothing about it anymore. He has decided, and you just have to respect his decision. Even if it hurts, all you can do is accept what happened and let go. That's hard, I know. But you have no other choice. And you now have to face your biggest fear of losing him. You can't hold him back, because you know to yourself that he won't let you.
After being so used of having him by your side, sending you texts every day and walking you home, you now feel alone and down. You feel incomplete. You feel worthless. You feel that you've lost your "everything". Wait, stop on that part. He isn't your everything, remember? And that's also the reality. You still have your friends willing to help you get through it. They're just waiting for you to let them lend a hand. It's not the end of the world yet. And all you have to do is divert your attention onto something else, make yourself busy, and most importantly, don't ever blame yourself on what happened. And if you really want to move on, then cut your communications for a couple of months. That's helpful, I'm telling you. Besides, would you still want to be with someone who has left you for no reason at all? It's his decision, so let him face it.
Time will pass and you'll be able to adjust to everything and be back to how you live your life before he has come into it. If you see him, there's no big deal. Who knows? Maybe, all the experiences you've gone through will be enough to make you know what to do next. And remember, just when you thought you've lost your everything, there would always be those significant others who will bring you back to reality and make you realize that everything isn't lost yet -- he's just a passerby who made you into a wiser person you are now.
--june 25, 2008 | 4:38 pm
