I feel so bad,
my eyes are teary
and I can barely see.
Thoughts keep running
through my head
as I lay on my bed.
I keep on searching
not for him
but for another thing.
Yes, it's not him that
I'm looking for
anymore.
Aha! There you are,
my precious one,
my black guitar.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
NOT ANOTHER MISTAKE.
Still remember the guy that I've mentioned in this blog site? Well that's a part of the past now. We've broken up last month -- before we even had our 5th month celebration. So what went wrong?
Everything was going on smoothly, I love how he cares about me. I just simply love being with him too. Little by little he has changed compared to what he was before. He became better. Our relationship grew. But for no reason at all, I started to fall out of love. Wait, scrub that off. Maybe there really is a reason. Then I've searched for it, thought about it, and knew what made me feel that way.
INGENUITY. That's one reason. I felt like I was not wanted but merely needed. Also, I really can't forget the time when he did something that really bothered me. That's not just plain jealousy I felt, but I also felt disrespected. Knowing that I'm there, in front of them -- he still did it. That's when I started to fall out. I tried to forget about it, but I just simply can't.
Then. We broke up.
Out of nowhere, I texted him that we're done. He was shocked, to the point that he really don't agree with what I've decided. I even talked to him in person just to officially end it up.
And that's it. End of the story.
I thought he was the one I've been waiting for all of my life. I felt a different kind of love. So different that it's not actually true.
Then, I met a guy from our office. I got interested in him and started to like him. A lot happened. And I don't know if I just did the same mistake again like what I did before. We talked everything over til we felt mutual for each other -- or at least that's what I thought.
Almost everyday we're together. He finds ways just to be with me. And we've been like this for more than a month now. All his actions, sweet nothings made me fall for him. But I did not know that's just it. He's not willing to go any further yet. He's not ready, that's what he says.
Then one day, I just felt different. I was longing for security. I was longing for assurance. But I know I should not demand anything from him. That's just not right. But it's just sad to know that though he can give me all the love and care in the world, he just can't give me anything to hold on to. I don't even have his word. He's just scared to even take any risk at the moment, and that's just what disappoints me. It's sad to know that the one you love can't try to be brave and get over with his past and try to move on..with you. Why can't he stand up on his knees and try to move forward? Why does he have to predict what can happen in the future? Can't he just go with the flow and just let things happen as it is?
He say he's not ready. But when will he be? By the time that I've fallen for someone else? What's the difference between tomorrow and now? I can understand him if we've just known each other for days. Well, perhaps he just don't think I deserve it. He thinks I can just be a mistake. That's why he's scared. And this is why I'm getting tired. He's somebody who's not willing to fight for you. And it just breaks my heart.
Everything was going on smoothly, I love how he cares about me. I just simply love being with him too. Little by little he has changed compared to what he was before. He became better. Our relationship grew. But for no reason at all, I started to fall out of love. Wait, scrub that off. Maybe there really is a reason. Then I've searched for it, thought about it, and knew what made me feel that way.
INGENUITY. That's one reason. I felt like I was not wanted but merely needed. Also, I really can't forget the time when he did something that really bothered me. That's not just plain jealousy I felt, but I also felt disrespected. Knowing that I'm there, in front of them -- he still did it. That's when I started to fall out. I tried to forget about it, but I just simply can't.
Then. We broke up.
Out of nowhere, I texted him that we're done. He was shocked, to the point that he really don't agree with what I've decided. I even talked to him in person just to officially end it up.
And that's it. End of the story.
I thought he was the one I've been waiting for all of my life. I felt a different kind of love. So different that it's not actually true.
Then, I met a guy from our office. I got interested in him and started to like him. A lot happened. And I don't know if I just did the same mistake again like what I did before. We talked everything over til we felt mutual for each other -- or at least that's what I thought.
Almost everyday we're together. He finds ways just to be with me. And we've been like this for more than a month now. All his actions, sweet nothings made me fall for him. But I did not know that's just it. He's not willing to go any further yet. He's not ready, that's what he says.
Then one day, I just felt different. I was longing for security. I was longing for assurance. But I know I should not demand anything from him. That's just not right. But it's just sad to know that though he can give me all the love and care in the world, he just can't give me anything to hold on to. I don't even have his word. He's just scared to even take any risk at the moment, and that's just what disappoints me. It's sad to know that the one you love can't try to be brave and get over with his past and try to move on..with you. Why can't he stand up on his knees and try to move forward? Why does he have to predict what can happen in the future? Can't he just go with the flow and just let things happen as it is?
He say he's not ready. But when will he be? By the time that I've fallen for someone else? What's the difference between tomorrow and now? I can understand him if we've just known each other for days. Well, perhaps he just don't think I deserve it. He thinks I can just be a mistake. That's why he's scared. And this is why I'm getting tired. He's somebody who's not willing to fight for you. And it just breaks my heart.
A VERY GOOD ESSAY I WROTE BEFORE THAT I CAN STILL RELATE TO.
JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU’VE LOST YOUR EVERYTHING
{ June 25, 2008 @ 1:04 am } ·
"The problem’s not you.. it’s me. It’s just that we can’t be together anymore."
It’s never easy to just forget something that you have been used to. It’s like your favorite doll being taken away from you when you’re still a little girl. At first, you can’t cope up. You’ll miss its presence and long for it once in a while. Why? Because of one simple reason: you’ve had it for a very long time that it has already become a part of your life. But hey, do you think you’ll just stay on that "i miss my doll" situation until the end of your life? If you think you will, then think again.
Letting go has really become one of the hardest choices a person makes. We can’t just simply let go of what we have in just a snap. It hurts a lot, actually. But still, you can’t even hold on to something that needs to go. It’s the reality of life. Change is the only permanent thing in this world as they say.
Same goes in relationships. There will come a time when suddenly, everything changes. You’d be asking yourself, "what’s the matter with him?" or "what’s going on?". You are absolutely clueless. Yea right, you two are still together. But you feel that there’s something weird going on. You’d ask him about the problem, and as usual, he’ll just say "nothing". Then you think about it and realize that there’s no problem at all. So you’ll ignore it. And you’re back to normal routines.
Days will pass. And without you knowing it, so is your partner. Just when you thought everything is alright, he’ll come up to you and say, "The problem’s not you.. it’s me. It’s just that we can’t be together anymore." You’d be in shock, and start to wonder what went wrong. Random thoughts will run through your mind. Amidst all these, one word stands out : "WHY?". You talk to him and ask about it, but nothing clears it up. Instead, his explanations left deeper questions.
So what happens next? Left into oblivion, you’d tell him that you’ll try to work things out — you’ll plea. But even if you do that, it won’t change the situation and the truth that your relationship with him is over — that he has left you for good.
You can do nothing about it anymore. He has decided, and you just have to respect his decision. Even if it hurts, all you can do is accept what happened and let go. That’s hard, I know. But you have no other choice. And you now have to face your biggest fear of losing him. You can’t hold him back, because you know to yourself that he won’t let you.
After being so used of having him by your side, sending you texts every day and walking you home, you now feel alone and down. You feel incomplete. You feel worthless. You feel that you’ve lost your "everything". Wait, stop on that part. He isn’t your everything, remember? And that’s also the reality. You still have your friends willing to help you get through it. They’re just waiting for you to let them lend a hand. It’s not the end of the world yet. And all you have to do is divert your attention onto something else, make yourself busy, and most importantly, don’t ever blame yourself on what happened. And if you really want to move on, then cut your communications for a couple of months. That’s helpful, I’m telling you. Besides, would you still want to be with someone who has left you for no reason at all? It’s his decision, so let him face it.
Time will pass and you’ll be able to adjust to everything and be back to how you live your life before he has come into it. If you see him, there’s no big deal. Who knows? Maybe, all the experiences you’ve gone through will be enough to make you know what to do next. And remember, just when you thought you’ve lost your everything, there would always be those significant others who will bring you back to reality and make you realize that everything isn’t lost yet — he’s just a passerby who made you into a wiser person you are now.
{ June 25, 2008 @ 1:04 am } ·
"The problem’s not you.. it’s me. It’s just that we can’t be together anymore."
It’s never easy to just forget something that you have been used to. It’s like your favorite doll being taken away from you when you’re still a little girl. At first, you can’t cope up. You’ll miss its presence and long for it once in a while. Why? Because of one simple reason: you’ve had it for a very long time that it has already become a part of your life. But hey, do you think you’ll just stay on that "i miss my doll" situation until the end of your life? If you think you will, then think again.
Letting go has really become one of the hardest choices a person makes. We can’t just simply let go of what we have in just a snap. It hurts a lot, actually. But still, you can’t even hold on to something that needs to go. It’s the reality of life. Change is the only permanent thing in this world as they say.
Same goes in relationships. There will come a time when suddenly, everything changes. You’d be asking yourself, "what’s the matter with him?" or "what’s going on?". You are absolutely clueless. Yea right, you two are still together. But you feel that there’s something weird going on. You’d ask him about the problem, and as usual, he’ll just say "nothing". Then you think about it and realize that there’s no problem at all. So you’ll ignore it. And you’re back to normal routines.
Days will pass. And without you knowing it, so is your partner. Just when you thought everything is alright, he’ll come up to you and say, "The problem’s not you.. it’s me. It’s just that we can’t be together anymore." You’d be in shock, and start to wonder what went wrong. Random thoughts will run through your mind. Amidst all these, one word stands out : "WHY?". You talk to him and ask about it, but nothing clears it up. Instead, his explanations left deeper questions.
So what happens next? Left into oblivion, you’d tell him that you’ll try to work things out — you’ll plea. But even if you do that, it won’t change the situation and the truth that your relationship with him is over — that he has left you for good.
You can do nothing about it anymore. He has decided, and you just have to respect his decision. Even if it hurts, all you can do is accept what happened and let go. That’s hard, I know. But you have no other choice. And you now have to face your biggest fear of losing him. You can’t hold him back, because you know to yourself that he won’t let you.
After being so used of having him by your side, sending you texts every day and walking you home, you now feel alone and down. You feel incomplete. You feel worthless. You feel that you’ve lost your "everything". Wait, stop on that part. He isn’t your everything, remember? And that’s also the reality. You still have your friends willing to help you get through it. They’re just waiting for you to let them lend a hand. It’s not the end of the world yet. And all you have to do is divert your attention onto something else, make yourself busy, and most importantly, don’t ever blame yourself on what happened. And if you really want to move on, then cut your communications for a couple of months. That’s helpful, I’m telling you. Besides, would you still want to be with someone who has left you for no reason at all? It’s his decision, so let him face it.
Time will pass and you’ll be able to adjust to everything and be back to how you live your life before he has come into it. If you see him, there’s no big deal. Who knows? Maybe, all the experiences you’ve gone through will be enough to make you know what to do next. And remember, just when you thought you’ve lost your everything, there would always be those significant others who will bring you back to reality and make you realize that everything isn’t lost yet — he’s just a passerby who made you into a wiser person you are now.
MY OLD POEMS (FROM A DIARY)
{ October 19, 2008 @ 11:12 pm }
KYOKI
*
Just lost my apetite
I dont want to eat
Tired of crying
I wanna sleep
I wanna sleep and
never wake up again
So when I open my eyes
I’m in heaven
With no problems
No heartaches and pains
Nothing to worry; carefree
I wanna rest; rest forever
Cause I can’t bear this
feeling anymore
-
NOTE: Nasulat ko to matapos uminom ng sangkatutak na gamot noon. Wag ng tanungin kung bakit. hehe. buhay pa naman ako eh. :p
`
BLUE SKY
Looking above, the sky’s so bright
Everything seems to be so right
Look! It’s very wide and clear
You won’t think of anything to fear
`
But I believe it’s not only about what I see
On its brightness and its rare beauty
Still, behind these are some mistery
About the greatness of what it seemed to be
`
Who knows when it will will dim?
Well nobodyelse, but only Him
Floating our lives would always be
With our dreams as bright as what I can see
-
SUNSET
*
As the sun sets, I watch the view
And it suddenly reminded me of you
Thoughts began to run through my mind
Memories I had, I started to bind
`
I reminisced the days that went so fast
When I made myself believe that it’ll last
But no! You’re not here, you went away
You didn’t even tell me you’re not gonna stay
`
And now, the sun slips away like you
For a minute or two, everything will be blue
Still, I know, this won’t be the end
Because tomorrow there’s hope and the sun will shine again.
-
Activity namin yan dati sa English. Assignment. May isa pang kasama yan eh, pero di ko makita.
-
MY BEST FRIEND
*
I won’t forget our days together
Times we shared with laughter and tears
The day we said we’ll be friends forever
A simple promise that no one else hears
-
You’ve become my greatest friend, it’s true
Who listened to every heartaches I cried
In times of despair you would help me through
It’s hard at times, but you always tried
-
I’ll always be thankful that it’s you I’ve met
For you taught me how to really be strong
Our time together isn’t that long yet
But it seems like a lifetime since we get along
-
And obviously, that poem is for my best friends. :)
LOVE REDEFINED
{ October 19, 2008 @ 7:13 pm }
Will you redefine love for me?
Cause I think I’ve lost its meaning
Is it all about being happy
Or just finding yourself crying?
-
When you can’t look him in the eyes
And feels uneasy when he’s around
Or having those consecutive sighs
Is it love that you have found?
-
Not so long ago I know how it feels
Loving somebody wholeheartedly
When he became the reason my heart sings
And being the only man that I seem to see
-
But all those memories slowly faded
When my heart grew tired of being broken
Shattered to pieces, never is it completed
Since the day you left, I can’t remember when
-
And now I don’t know where to find
That four letter word, other than the dictionary
Maybe I need to have love redefined
Tell me, can’t you help me in this journey?
WHAT I WANT
{ October 19, 2008 @ 6:38 pm }
There’s this feeling inside
So different, so new
A feeling i can’t really hide
I want to be near to you
-
With all the stories you tell
You make me wanna listen more
When I talk with you I feel well
I want you standing to my door
-
I’ve just suffered from a love disorder
Then you came to heal my sickness
I’m glad to have you as my doctor
To you my love will be no less.
-
IT’S NOT ME, NOW I SEE
{ October 19, 2008 @ 6:24 pm }
One night, we’re having a conversation
Filled with laughter and happiness
Suddenly, I felt this different emotion
Now I think I’m into a big mess
-
While talking with you, you opened up
About this girl you like so much
Listening made my heartbeat stop
Same name as mine, why is it such?
-
Hearing my name made me blush
Cause I thought you’re referring to me
Then I asked you about your crush
Just to find out it’s not me, now I see
-
My face slowly turned to white
And felt coldness throughout my body
To react against it, I have no right
But how I just hope that instead it’s me.
JUST LIKE YOU
{ October 17, 2008 @ 6:54 am }
I feel so down and gloomy
My tears won’t stop from falling
Don’t you feel a little guilty
For it’s only sadness you bring
-
I’ve been trying my hardest
To do every little thing you tell me
Why don’t you see me at my best
And just accept who I can only be
-
I thought you would understand
The things that I’m going through
I thought you would lend a hand
Not expect me to be just like YOU.
YOU
{ October 16, 2008 @ 11:11 pm } ·
Why can’t I accept the fact,
That I’m just a nobody for you.
You keep pushing me away,
But I always ignore the thing you do.
-
I want to go to the farthest place,
miles and miles away from you.
Instead of hoping that someday,
You could actually love me too.
-
Why do I still think of you,
Though you don’t even care.
Why do I have to fall in love with you,
When all these hurtings, I have to bear.
LIVE
{ October 16, 2008 @ 10:53 pm }
My heart keeps on beating fast
I don’t know when this will last
I can feel my body getting weak
As from my eyes falls a leak
*
I’ve been thinking for so long
When will I finally be strong
To face what lies ahead
Instead of wishing that I was dead
*
Can there be anyone out there
Who can help me breathe more air
Provide everything I need
Just like when I was still a kid
*
Love, care, and understanding
Will you give me those things?
I know it’s not that hard to give
So please I’m begging you, help me live
INCOMPLETE
{ October 16, 2008 @ 9:56 pm }
Why can’t I get you off my mind
Like you’re already a part of it
Can’t there be any other to find
Just to replace your every bit
*
Im getting tired of this scene
That keeps on repeating from time to time
With the same acts being seen
It’s like you and I do not really rhyme
FALLING
{ October 16, 2008 @ 9:54 pm }
Tonight we’re okay
The next day you’re away
How can you leave
When you made me believe
About those things you said
That still run through my head
*
I told you about my fear
Of wanting you to be near
For I knew it from the start
That you’ll only break my heart
And I keep on thinking how
You made me weep like this now
*
You haven’t done any
Yet to me you’ve caused many
Sleepless nights, unending cries
Why do you have to tell those lies?
I wasn’t prepared for what I’m feeling
Shouldn’t you at least gave me a warning?
*
I don’t know where these all started
Or even when will I be mended
But the only thing i know
Is that I have to let you go
‘Cause I can not be admitting
That for you I really am falling
GONE
{ October 16, 2008 @ 9:45 pm }
I keep on smiling
Yet inside I’m hurting
Pretending to be okay
Though I’m having a hard day
Trying my best to erase
Every memory and trace
Of the things you’ve done
Because now you’re gone
FINAL THOUGHTS OF YOU
{ October 16, 2008 @ 9:42 pm }
How can you ignore every tear I shed
When before you said you’d wipe it away
What i feel now slowly turns to hatred
For you cant really do the things you say
Is it me being foolish to hope
That you can still be the one for me
It seems very difficult to cope
You’ve changed from what you used to be
Perhaps now’s the time to finally just let go
And forget about everything we’ve gone through
Maybe tomorrow we’d be fine, I know
And just think that once in my life I had you
MIND RESET
{ October 16, 2008 @ 9:32 pm }
i thought i was over you
and it’s easy to find someone new
maybe i finally should admit
from you i had a really great hit
never did i imagine
that you’ll be whom i’m thinkin’
every morning i wake up
i cant make my mind stop
cant there be another chance
that i may have a dance
to the guy i love the most
a love found, and again lost
i dont know the reason why
there could never be you and I
thoughts crowd my head
what we used to have, now is dead
KYOKI
*
Just lost my apetite
I dont want to eat
Tired of crying
I wanna sleep
I wanna sleep and
never wake up again
So when I open my eyes
I’m in heaven
With no problems
No heartaches and pains
Nothing to worry; carefree
I wanna rest; rest forever
Cause I can’t bear this
feeling anymore
-
NOTE: Nasulat ko to matapos uminom ng sangkatutak na gamot noon. Wag ng tanungin kung bakit. hehe. buhay pa naman ako eh. :p
`
BLUE SKY
Looking above, the sky’s so bright
Everything seems to be so right
Look! It’s very wide and clear
You won’t think of anything to fear
`
But I believe it’s not only about what I see
On its brightness and its rare beauty
Still, behind these are some mistery
About the greatness of what it seemed to be
`
Who knows when it will will dim?
Well nobodyelse, but only Him
Floating our lives would always be
With our dreams as bright as what I can see
-
SUNSET
*
As the sun sets, I watch the view
And it suddenly reminded me of you
Thoughts began to run through my mind
Memories I had, I started to bind
`
I reminisced the days that went so fast
When I made myself believe that it’ll last
But no! You’re not here, you went away
You didn’t even tell me you’re not gonna stay
`
And now, the sun slips away like you
For a minute or two, everything will be blue
Still, I know, this won’t be the end
Because tomorrow there’s hope and the sun will shine again.
-
Activity namin yan dati sa English. Assignment. May isa pang kasama yan eh, pero di ko makita.
-
MY BEST FRIEND
*
I won’t forget our days together
Times we shared with laughter and tears
The day we said we’ll be friends forever
A simple promise that no one else hears
-
You’ve become my greatest friend, it’s true
Who listened to every heartaches I cried
In times of despair you would help me through
It’s hard at times, but you always tried
-
I’ll always be thankful that it’s you I’ve met
For you taught me how to really be strong
Our time together isn’t that long yet
But it seems like a lifetime since we get along
-
And obviously, that poem is for my best friends. :)
LOVE REDEFINED
{ October 19, 2008 @ 7:13 pm }
Will you redefine love for me?
Cause I think I’ve lost its meaning
Is it all about being happy
Or just finding yourself crying?
-
When you can’t look him in the eyes
And feels uneasy when he’s around
Or having those consecutive sighs
Is it love that you have found?
-
Not so long ago I know how it feels
Loving somebody wholeheartedly
When he became the reason my heart sings
And being the only man that I seem to see
-
But all those memories slowly faded
When my heart grew tired of being broken
Shattered to pieces, never is it completed
Since the day you left, I can’t remember when
-
And now I don’t know where to find
That four letter word, other than the dictionary
Maybe I need to have love redefined
Tell me, can’t you help me in this journey?
WHAT I WANT
{ October 19, 2008 @ 6:38 pm }
There’s this feeling inside
So different, so new
A feeling i can’t really hide
I want to be near to you
-
With all the stories you tell
You make me wanna listen more
When I talk with you I feel well
I want you standing to my door
-
I’ve just suffered from a love disorder
Then you came to heal my sickness
I’m glad to have you as my doctor
To you my love will be no less.
-
IT’S NOT ME, NOW I SEE
{ October 19, 2008 @ 6:24 pm }
One night, we’re having a conversation
Filled with laughter and happiness
Suddenly, I felt this different emotion
Now I think I’m into a big mess
-
While talking with you, you opened up
About this girl you like so much
Listening made my heartbeat stop
Same name as mine, why is it such?
-
Hearing my name made me blush
Cause I thought you’re referring to me
Then I asked you about your crush
Just to find out it’s not me, now I see
-
My face slowly turned to white
And felt coldness throughout my body
To react against it, I have no right
But how I just hope that instead it’s me.
JUST LIKE YOU
{ October 17, 2008 @ 6:54 am }
I feel so down and gloomy
My tears won’t stop from falling
Don’t you feel a little guilty
For it’s only sadness you bring
-
I’ve been trying my hardest
To do every little thing you tell me
Why don’t you see me at my best
And just accept who I can only be
-
I thought you would understand
The things that I’m going through
I thought you would lend a hand
Not expect me to be just like YOU.
YOU
{ October 16, 2008 @ 11:11 pm } ·
Why can’t I accept the fact,
That I’m just a nobody for you.
You keep pushing me away,
But I always ignore the thing you do.
-
I want to go to the farthest place,
miles and miles away from you.
Instead of hoping that someday,
You could actually love me too.
-
Why do I still think of you,
Though you don’t even care.
Why do I have to fall in love with you,
When all these hurtings, I have to bear.
LIVE
{ October 16, 2008 @ 10:53 pm }
My heart keeps on beating fast
I don’t know when this will last
I can feel my body getting weak
As from my eyes falls a leak
*
I’ve been thinking for so long
When will I finally be strong
To face what lies ahead
Instead of wishing that I was dead
*
Can there be anyone out there
Who can help me breathe more air
Provide everything I need
Just like when I was still a kid
*
Love, care, and understanding
Will you give me those things?
I know it’s not that hard to give
So please I’m begging you, help me live
INCOMPLETE
{ October 16, 2008 @ 9:56 pm }
Why can’t I get you off my mind
Like you’re already a part of it
Can’t there be any other to find
Just to replace your every bit
*
Im getting tired of this scene
That keeps on repeating from time to time
With the same acts being seen
It’s like you and I do not really rhyme
FALLING
{ October 16, 2008 @ 9:54 pm }
Tonight we’re okay
The next day you’re away
How can you leave
When you made me believe
About those things you said
That still run through my head
*
I told you about my fear
Of wanting you to be near
For I knew it from the start
That you’ll only break my heart
And I keep on thinking how
You made me weep like this now
*
You haven’t done any
Yet to me you’ve caused many
Sleepless nights, unending cries
Why do you have to tell those lies?
I wasn’t prepared for what I’m feeling
Shouldn’t you at least gave me a warning?
*
I don’t know where these all started
Or even when will I be mended
But the only thing i know
Is that I have to let you go
‘Cause I can not be admitting
That for you I really am falling
GONE
{ October 16, 2008 @ 9:45 pm }
I keep on smiling
Yet inside I’m hurting
Pretending to be okay
Though I’m having a hard day
Trying my best to erase
Every memory and trace
Of the things you’ve done
Because now you’re gone
FINAL THOUGHTS OF YOU
{ October 16, 2008 @ 9:42 pm }
How can you ignore every tear I shed
When before you said you’d wipe it away
What i feel now slowly turns to hatred
For you cant really do the things you say
Is it me being foolish to hope
That you can still be the one for me
It seems very difficult to cope
You’ve changed from what you used to be
Perhaps now’s the time to finally just let go
And forget about everything we’ve gone through
Maybe tomorrow we’d be fine, I know
And just think that once in my life I had you
MIND RESET
{ October 16, 2008 @ 9:32 pm }
i thought i was over you
and it’s easy to find someone new
maybe i finally should admit
from you i had a really great hit
never did i imagine
that you’ll be whom i’m thinkin’
every morning i wake up
i cant make my mind stop
cant there be another chance
that i may have a dance
to the guy i love the most
a love found, and again lost
i dont know the reason why
there could never be you and I
thoughts crowd my head
what we used to have, now is dead
OLD POSTS GALING SA MULTIPS. :)
KANINANG MADALING ARAW..
Mar 22, '09 9:00 PM
Bigla akong nagka-urge gumawa ng kanta, kasi random thoughts na naman. Pero this time may pinagkukuhanan ng emotion.
I haven't thought of a title yet. Suggest? :))
HERE:
I.
I believed in all your lies
I should've known that you're just in a disguise
All this time I thought that you were the one
I've been waiting for, wishing for all of my life
II.
I didn't listen to my mind
Just because I thought you're one of a kind
With all your kisses and your sweet warm embrace
I couldn't ask for more, with you I'd love to spend all my days
Refrain I.
But I guess I was wrong
No, I'm not that strong
I wanna take it from the start
So I won't give my heart
Chorus.
To you.. I have fallen inlove
And you said you're not like any other
You made it hard for me to breathe
Everytime that you are near my heart beats faster
Oooh.. I have fallen inlove
And you said you're not like any other
You made it hard for me to breathe
Everytime that you are near my heart beats faster
*instumental*
Refrain 2.
Now I've learned from my mistake
I guess I'd give my heart a break
I'm gonna make it come what may
So I won't have to say..
Chorus.
That to you.. I have fallen inlove
And you said you're not like any other
You made it hard for me to breathe
Everytime that you are near my heart beats faster
Oooh.. I have fallen inlove
And you said you're not like any other
You made it hard for me to breathe
Everytime that you are near my heart beats faster
Oooh.. No..
I won't believe in all your lies.. anymore.
Here's the link for the scrap record. haha!
USE INTERNET EXPLORER to open/save :)
http://h1.ripway.com/limangjellybeans/song1.wma
Panget pagkakagitara. Wawa naman. :p
Mar 22, '09 9:00 PM
Bigla akong nagka-urge gumawa ng kanta, kasi random thoughts na naman. Pero this time may pinagkukuhanan ng emotion.
I haven't thought of a title yet. Suggest? :))
HERE:
I.
I believed in all your lies
I should've known that you're just in a disguise
All this time I thought that you were the one
I've been waiting for, wishing for all of my life
II.
I didn't listen to my mind
Just because I thought you're one of a kind
With all your kisses and your sweet warm embrace
I couldn't ask for more, with you I'd love to spend all my days
Refrain I.
But I guess I was wrong
No, I'm not that strong
I wanna take it from the start
So I won't give my heart
Chorus.
To you.. I have fallen inlove
And you said you're not like any other
You made it hard for me to breathe
Everytime that you are near my heart beats faster
Oooh.. I have fallen inlove
And you said you're not like any other
You made it hard for me to breathe
Everytime that you are near my heart beats faster
*instumental*
Refrain 2.
Now I've learned from my mistake
I guess I'd give my heart a break
I'm gonna make it come what may
So I won't have to say..
Chorus.
That to you.. I have fallen inlove
And you said you're not like any other
You made it hard for me to breathe
Everytime that you are near my heart beats faster
Oooh.. I have fallen inlove
And you said you're not like any other
You made it hard for me to breathe
Everytime that you are near my heart beats faster
Oooh.. No..
I won't believe in all your lies.. anymore.
Here's the link for the scrap record. haha!
USE INTERNET EXPLORER to open/save :)
http://h1.ripway.com/limangjellybeans/song1.wma
Panget pagkakagitara. Wawa naman. :p
- - - - -
ALWAYS
Mar 2, '09 2:04 AM
Here's a poem I made. For my bestfriend Meg.
I felt really sad while making this one. :s
***
Everyday we've been together
Just like twins, just fraternal
Many times, you've lent your shoulder
And I thought it would be eternal
But then one day we grew apart
Since then I heard nothing from you
Unexpectedly I felt like I've broken my heart
Now a friendship fades, it used to true
How could I ever lose someone
Who is very important and priceless
Now you're so far away, gone
And I can't do anything about this mess
If only I could relive our moments
I could have done different and way better
The time we both share stuffs and sentiments
I am just thankful that you were there
Surely I will miss being with you
And all the things that we both had
Though I already have someone new
You'll always be the one I'd want so bad
***
She'll always be my BETCHfriend. :(
Mar 2, '09 2:04 AM
Here's a poem I made. For my bestfriend Meg.
I felt really sad while making this one. :s
***
Everyday we've been together
Just like twins, just fraternal
Many times, you've lent your shoulder
And I thought it would be eternal
But then one day we grew apart
Since then I heard nothing from you
Unexpectedly I felt like I've broken my heart
Now a friendship fades, it used to true
How could I ever lose someone
Who is very important and priceless
Now you're so far away, gone
And I can't do anything about this mess
If only I could relive our moments
I could have done different and way better
The time we both share stuffs and sentiments
I am just thankful that you were there
Surely I will miss being with you
And all the things that we both had
Though I already have someone new
You'll always be the one I'd want so bad
***
She'll always be my BETCHfriend. :(
- - - - -
MAKE THOSE LAST
{ October 20, 2008 @ 7:47 pm }
“I want to go back to the past
So I can make those memories last
When we’re laughing and having fun
Doing anything under the sun.”
-
“I hear you sing, your voice so cold
When you speak, your hands I want to hold
And take you to a place only both of us know
Singing our melodies though the tune is low.”
-
It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other
Cause before, I won’t really even bother
But it’s nice to spend some time with you
Feels like you’re a friend whom I just knew.”
***
Ito yung mga one-stanza poem ko na nagawa while Zyrael’s with me last night. I really REALLY missed him. :) I miss our elementary days, those childhood moments. Sabi nga namin, mas masarap pang balikan yung elementary, kasi noon, wala pa kaming alam sa plastikan. hehehe. :p
-
How I wish I can go back to those FUN days. One of the happiest parts of my life.
I’M YOURS
{ October 20, 2008 @ 2:31 am } ·
“It’s our God-forsaken right to be LOVED.”
That’s a line from Jason Mraz’ song IM YOURS. I really love that line sooo much. :)
***
Lately, I could say that I have abused my heart so badly. It has come to a point when all I could do every night is cry, cry, and cry. I’ve been crying myself to sleep for a couple of nights. So whatever. But what’s the reason of all these?
-
Man’s sweetness and thoughtfulness is my WEAKNESS. I don’t know why, but I easily fall to those who show too much care for me. Maybe it’s because I’m actually longing for some affection, or rather, I’m longing for someone to love.
-
I really miss having that somebody whom I can call baby or honey. That somebody who spends his time with me, and makes me feel like I was never alone all along. That sounds “emo”, I know. hehe.
-
But why is that when I’m now ready to LOVE again SERIOUSLY, love seems to turn its back on me? Why is it that when I love someone, I am not loved back? They always think that I’m not taking them seriously. It’s SO not me. Before, I used to be so playful in relationships–being childish and immature. I even had too many boys before. But those days are gone now. I’m ready to love COMPLETELY. I want to LOVE somebody, and be LOVED in return.
-
I WANNA EXPERIENCE “LOVE” AGAIN. BUT THIS TIME, MORE SERIOUSLY.
-
I don’t wanna be that ignorant child anymore.
{ October 20, 2008 @ 7:47 pm }
“I want to go back to the past
So I can make those memories last
When we’re laughing and having fun
Doing anything under the sun.”
-
“I hear you sing, your voice so cold
When you speak, your hands I want to hold
And take you to a place only both of us know
Singing our melodies though the tune is low.”
-
It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other
Cause before, I won’t really even bother
But it’s nice to spend some time with you
Feels like you’re a friend whom I just knew.”
***
Ito yung mga one-stanza poem ko na nagawa while Zyrael’s with me last night. I really REALLY missed him. :) I miss our elementary days, those childhood moments. Sabi nga namin, mas masarap pang balikan yung elementary, kasi noon, wala pa kaming alam sa plastikan. hehehe. :p
-
How I wish I can go back to those FUN days. One of the happiest parts of my life.
- - - - -
I’M YOURS
{ October 20, 2008 @ 2:31 am } ·
“It’s our God-forsaken right to be LOVED.”
That’s a line from Jason Mraz’ song IM YOURS. I really love that line sooo much. :)
***
Lately, I could say that I have abused my heart so badly. It has come to a point when all I could do every night is cry, cry, and cry. I’ve been crying myself to sleep for a couple of nights. So whatever. But what’s the reason of all these?
-
Man’s sweetness and thoughtfulness is my WEAKNESS. I don’t know why, but I easily fall to those who show too much care for me. Maybe it’s because I’m actually longing for some affection, or rather, I’m longing for someone to love.
-
I really miss having that somebody whom I can call baby or honey. That somebody who spends his time with me, and makes me feel like I was never alone all along. That sounds “emo”, I know. hehe.
-
But why is that when I’m now ready to LOVE again SERIOUSLY, love seems to turn its back on me? Why is it that when I love someone, I am not loved back? They always think that I’m not taking them seriously. It’s SO not me. Before, I used to be so playful in relationships–being childish and immature. I even had too many boys before. But those days are gone now. I’m ready to love COMPLETELY. I want to LOVE somebody, and be LOVED in return.
-
I WANNA EXPERIENCE “LOVE” AGAIN. BUT THIS TIME, MORE SERIOUSLY.
-
I don’t wanna be that ignorant child anymore.
AN AGENT.. STILL.
Gosh, May 16th pa yung last post ko dito. I've been VEEEERY busy the past months eh. School, work, and other stuffs.
Anyway, finally I've remembered to update this blog. So.. Let's catch up. :)
**NOTE: This post will first be about work and school. Next post will be about anything else.
I'm still studying, while working as a call center agent and a dubber as well. After 3 months of being on operations, we were transferred to technical support, making us CSR's no more. But it means higher salary though. During the first week of training for Tech Support (TS), it was difficult as hell. Nose bleeding happens. haha! But thank God we were able to cope up and hopefully I'll be regularized by October 15. We even have what they call 'development plan' for an entire month which started by the end of August's last week. We're already on our way to the 4th week, and we're able to somehow meet our targets. And guess what? Our Average Handling Time (AHT) is always low! I never imagined we could even have an AHT lower than 10mins because while in TQ, usual AHT is around 15 mins and up. I even had an AHT of more than 20 mins. Also, I always have a CSAT of 10 -- though my QA is not that good. But I'll work on that.
If there's one thing that I don't like about my work, it's the fact that I'm getting sick because of it. There came a point when I'm drinking 6 different meds in a day.
Also, starting mid September, I also start to dub again for an anime entitled MAR. It will be aired on Ch. 2 by October. It's just kind of stressful since I don't have rest every Wednesday through Friday. It's a good thing this semester's almost done.
I'm starting to think if I'll still continue studying. I'm getting bored. But I know I have to stay in school. *sigh*
Anyway, finally I've remembered to update this blog. So.. Let's catch up. :)
**NOTE: This post will first be about work and school. Next post will be about anything else.
I'm still studying, while working as a call center agent and a dubber as well. After 3 months of being on operations, we were transferred to technical support, making us CSR's no more. But it means higher salary though. During the first week of training for Tech Support (TS), it was difficult as hell. Nose bleeding happens. haha! But thank God we were able to cope up and hopefully I'll be regularized by October 15. We even have what they call 'development plan' for an entire month which started by the end of August's last week. We're already on our way to the 4th week, and we're able to somehow meet our targets. And guess what? Our Average Handling Time (AHT) is always low! I never imagined we could even have an AHT lower than 10mins because while in TQ, usual AHT is around 15 mins and up. I even had an AHT of more than 20 mins. Also, I always have a CSAT of 10 -- though my QA is not that good. But I'll work on that.
If there's one thing that I don't like about my work, it's the fact that I'm getting sick because of it. There came a point when I'm drinking 6 different meds in a day.
Also, starting mid September, I also start to dub again for an anime entitled MAR. It will be aired on Ch. 2 by October. It's just kind of stressful since I don't have rest every Wednesday through Friday. It's a good thing this semester's almost done.
I'm starting to think if I'll still continue studying. I'm getting bored. But I know I have to stay in school. *sigh*
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