Guess what I just did? I deleted him from my list of friends.
Maybe it's for me to finally be over him and avoid any more hurting. Cause the more I see him online and see his profile, the more I feel bad about the situation.
I thought I was over it and I can deal with it. But I don't know. There's just something about him that keeps on pulling me towards him. Something very weird and unexplainable. But this is enough. I can't be like this for so long. I have to accept it and move on.
This time, I have to make sure that I will not take back my action and fold up. I can do this. I know I can.
Saturday, January 01, 2011
APPOINTMENT WITH GOD
When does a person say that he's had enough? That he just want to give up?
I just had a weird conversation with a friend who happens to be my ex-boyfriend. He started saying nice things about me. He gave me different advices, random thoughts, and words of wisdom as if he's going to die. Though he didn't say it directly, I knew what he meant when he said he was "going somewhere far where there'd be no facebook".
I kept on telling him, he shouldn't leave. That he has no right to take his life. I even remember telling him:
I kept on telling him to stay and be strong. He says things that he could actually have told himself. If only there's a mirror, I'd place it in front of him while he was saying all those stuffs.
I've been in the same situation before. When I wanted to give up cause I thought I can't bear it anymore--with all the problems and hurting. I thought it's better if I just die and escape life. But no. Now I realize that it's a silly thing to even think about it.
That only meant that my relationship with God was not as strong as I can say it is now. Cause if it was, then I would have just prayed hard instead of assuming I was hopeless.
In my twenty years of living, I have learned a lot. I've been lost but I've also found my way back to what is right in God's eyes. I may be weak, but I have a God that I can hold onto now. He will never forsake us and will never make us go through anything we can't handle very well. He's there, guiding us.
Just when we thought we should just give up, we should just close our eyes and find Him deep within.
I just had a weird conversation with a friend who happens to be my ex-boyfriend. He started saying nice things about me. He gave me different advices, random thoughts, and words of wisdom as if he's going to die. Though he didn't say it directly, I knew what he meant when he said he was "going somewhere far where there'd be no facebook".
I kept on telling him, he shouldn't leave. That he has no right to take his life. I even remember telling him:
"Si God, hindi tumatanggap ng walk-in applicants, puro by appointment. (God does not accept walk-in applicants, it's always by appointment.)"It's a mortal sin to commit suicide. And it's more appropriate to die naturally, in God's time.
I kept on telling him to stay and be strong. He says things that he could actually have told himself. If only there's a mirror, I'd place it in front of him while he was saying all those stuffs.
I've been in the same situation before. When I wanted to give up cause I thought I can't bear it anymore--with all the problems and hurting. I thought it's better if I just die and escape life. But no. Now I realize that it's a silly thing to even think about it.
That only meant that my relationship with God was not as strong as I can say it is now. Cause if it was, then I would have just prayed hard instead of assuming I was hopeless.
In my twenty years of living, I have learned a lot. I've been lost but I've also found my way back to what is right in God's eyes. I may be weak, but I have a God that I can hold onto now. He will never forsake us and will never make us go through anything we can't handle very well. He's there, guiding us.
Just when we thought we should just give up, we should just close our eyes and find Him deep within.
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