HEY

My hands are cold, and shaking. My heart beats so fast and I can feel every pounding of it through my chest. My eyes feel like they're going to flow rivers. Endless.

I don't even know why I let myself get into this. I did this to myself. And now I'm hurting so much. I know some people will tell me that I have no right to feel hurt because I was the one who did the wrong move. But hey, I just did myself a favor of being true to my heart. Nobody should tell me now that I have no right to feel hurt, because this is really what I'm feeling right now.

What have I actually done? I was okay the past few days, and here it goes. The year is almost over but there's still some more bad memories who want to complete my experience list. I don't get it. Why do I always, ALWAYS have to go through this kind of sh*t. I've had enough since childhood. Until now. When will I ever be happy?

Crying just makes my eyes look baggy and all. And the worst part is that my mouth has no use as of now. I can't yell, or scream, or shout. I can't. And that just makes it harder for me.

I wanna let it out. I wanna let it all out--out of my heart so the pain would go with the words as I say them, as I yell them--hoping that it would help me feel better.